Welcome to my Blog
My Digital Notebook
I like to be sure, real sure about the decisions I make. So I listen to my gut, pray and look for proof that I am on the right track. Here are my notes…
I like to think of myself as unique. Particularly the way my brain works. I am extremely optimistic, always looking for the good in every person and every situation. I was wired to give people the benefit of the doubt until evidence of something else comes to light. Additionally, I am very logical. Things have to add up and make sense or more questions need to be asked. I am a rebel.
So it’s a great fit to be the one in my circle gathering information and disseminating it. I also think people need to make their own decisions and the best decisions are made when all of the information is present. (Beware that many sources give you the information they think you need to know or the information that will encourage you in a particular way. The government, big business, mainstream media, etc. is good for this.)
With a brain like mine; one ready to question, dig deeper and press ALL the buttons, I am often amazed by the things people accept as truth. Our generation, the lovely millennials, tend to have big goals, be lazy, do surface level “research” aka read two google summaries and think they can help someone else (I’ve been guilty of this on a few occasions). The generation before us seems to just do what they know and what they were told, no questions asked. (Hopefully the next generation will continue to evolve and will question everything and keep going until they find truth.)
As a growing crunchy mama who has done LOTS of trainings (I love trainings, webinars, and conferences), read LOTS of books, and traced information back to original sources (not every time), I find myself thinking “Who told you that?” in many conversations. For example..
“Giving birth at home is dangerous.” ...“Who told you that? In most cases it’s the safest place.”
“Breastfeeding a toddler is more about the mom than the kid.”...“Who told you that? Nursing a toddler is annoying yet provides the same benefits as it did for the baby.”
“I could never give birth naturally because I have a low pain tolerance.”...“Who told you that it has anything to do with your pain tolerance and everything to do with not interfering with the process? Also there will be pain and discomfort regardless. The question is do you want it during birth or after.”
“You can’t be sure you’ll be pleased sexually if you don’t have sex before marriage.” ...“Who told you that?” How do you know the difference if your spouse is your first and only? Isn’t it possible to tell a person what you like and teach them?
“It’s the mom’s job to do all the house and kid related stuff.”...“Who told you that? (I’ll leave it there. LOL)”
“It’s impossible to raise a well-behaved, respectful kid without beating them. Especially boys.”...“Who told you that? Look at who is beat the most and look at who gets in the most trouble. Is beating/ spanking/ whipping really helping? ”
“Babies who like to be held all the time are spoiled.”...“Who told you that? For nine months they were carried and rocked nonstop, never having to request food, warmth or anything else. They felt safe and loved. Then they are born and in an instant EVERYTHING changes. Wouldn’t it seem odd if they didn’t want to be close to what/ whom they are most familiar (just like us)?”
The line “who told you that” is a rhetorical question. I don’t really want to know who told you that.
I also do not want to minimize the experiences of other women. But to encourage you to dig deeper and think critically about the things that are presented to us.
(I’ll hit each of the above topics and more in the coming posts.)
My goal for this blog is to share what I have learned and the sources of those things. I am an expert in Ashlee. You are an expert in (insert your name here). So what we need to thrive may be and probably will differ but let this be your jumping pad and source of direction (not answers).
I will also share my experience and the experiences of others to bring what I am learning to life.
What things are you curious about? What do you want more information about? Comment below so I can be sure to include it.
I coach women to prepare for and thrive as mothers via birth, breastfeeding and parenting education and self-care events. I am a Black crunchy momma that has something to say about how we create life, give birth, what we eat, how we connect with each other, and relate to $$.